A Weird Robot Chicken Digression

 Again, a bit of an odd one this week. I've been dipping into the box(es) of unpainted models over the last couple of months and trying to finish some random miniatures that I've picked up over the years. I found a number of steampunk-style models from a variety of manufacturers, and thought that I'd paint them up as a little warband.

First up is a Privateer Press model. Some years ago, they released a faction called "Grymkin", which were Halloween-style monsters with pun names, and was very much not my cup of tea. However, one of them was a bizarre clockwork chicken robot (called the clockatrice), which looked quite cool. Here it is, painted up.

Weird, eh? I really like the model, just because it looks so crazy. I also added a few minions to the group.

The semi-ghostly lady on the left is a Privateer Press body and arm with Frostgrave bits. I imagine that she hovers slightly above the ground, wielding a combination of pistols and magic. I'm not sure where the robed mystic is from. I think he was part of a set of space crew, perhaps by the people who make the Dunkeldorf miniatures.

And here are two henchmen for this weird band of oddballs. On the right, we've got a Reaper miniature who seems to be some kind of mad scientist in a mechanical suit. Fair enough. On the left is a strange metal model from a range that I assume to be defunct. He's Bill Sykes, the thuggish baddie from Oliver Twist, except that he's got bionic legs because why not. He's actually a really nice model, but I've no idea who made him. I think I found him in a bargain bin.

So that's all pretty weird. I've plans to make more of these weirdos, but for the moment that's the sum total of Robot Chicken Brigade. For now...

A Bit Of A Change - Privateer Press Trollblood Test Models

 So, let's talk about Privateer Press - or, more accurately, please read on while I ramble about them. Or it. Lucky you. 

Ten years ago, Privateer Press was a serious rival to Games Workshop. GW was in a bad way, and PP had some clever business practises and an interesting range of models. It also had an extremely complicated game and a weird obsession with win-at-all-costs tournament play which made its writers sound like jerks, but hey-ho. PP's two main games were Warmachine, which involved chunky dreadnought-style robots bashing each other, and Hordes, in which big monsters bashed each other. And you could play one against the other, which was a really nice touch.

Anyhow, brighter minds than mine have considered the downfall of Privateer Press. From my point of view, the upshot is that they made some nice models, a few awful ones, and some that I really liked. Some of their character miniatures are really cool. Back in the day, I bought a load of models from their "trollblood" faction.

The trollbloods were hefty chaps who lived a rugged life, wearing tartan, tossing cabers and drinking to excess. They were basically comedy Scotsmen meets Lord of the Rings trolls, and were as close to the good guys as the setting allowed.

I decided to repaint some of them, because they were lying in a box at home and doing so would distract me from buying even more miniatures for a while. I remembered them being amusingly goofy, like Warhammer trolls: actually, they're uglier and less lovable than I recall. Anyhow, I painted a couple of them up as test models. I'm damned if I'm going to be painting tartan on these guys, so I went for simple red sashes, which contrast nicely with their blue skin. These were metal, and quite pleasant to paint.

So, I'll keep on with these models. I don't like them as much as the old space orks, and there's not a lot of variety in the sculpts or options to do interesting things with them, but they make a nice change and would look good in a small group. I'm not in a rush to make a unit of trollbloods, but they're now on the long list of things for painting.

Violins and Vampires

 Back to the charming land of Blognia this week, for a few more miniatures. First of all is a violin player, made by West Wind Productions for their Victorian gothic range. I've had this chap on my desk for months now, and I've never thought he was a very good model. Eventually, I compelled myself to get on with it and paint the guy. I'm actually really pleased by how he came out!

Music plays an important part in distracting the citizens of Blognia from their drab, miserable lives, and it is considered a poor wedding that doesn't last for several days and fails to include either a good band or a knife-fight. Here we seem a travelling player, ready to serenade his employer of the day, and keeping careful watch in case a blood feud breaks out.

I also painted a minor vampire and a couple more minions, to make a small squad. The vampire (he might be a fancy Captain of Guards instead) is a Privateer Press model called Valachev. Privateer Press models vary hugely in quality, but this is one of the newer, better ones, and I really like all the detail on him.

For some reason, it was almost impossible to get a decent picture of this guy. Strange (and really irritating) how some models just won't show up. I added a bird to his base from a GW model, and put him on a slightly raised bit of plasticard stone to show his higher rank.

I also made a few more minions for this chap. these were based on the Perry Miniatures Afghan models, using the guys with boots instead of sandals and the non-turban-wearing heads. The kneeling guy has a head from a Frostgrave soldier.

The many vampires of Blognia are powerful, but they have weaknesses. Almost any revenant of note will employ minions to guard his property, track down his enemies and carry out business that he cannot deal with in the daylight hours. While many of these men are little more than hired bandits, some clans and families have a tradition of helping the undead. The vampire acquires useful assistants who can freely travel in the world of the living, and its helpers get to loot, plunder and look glamorous compared to the other peasants.

Mechanics, hackers and a robot

 Well, I've just got back from the local gaming shop, and I'm surprised and slightly impressed to say that I didn't buy anything. Nothing really appealed. It's actually pretty hard to buy anything at all for less than £25 in a gaming shop. Some GW models are pretty cool and would be fun to make - the Kroot rampagers are appealing, as are the Adeptus Mechanicus Serberys raiders - but I'd only want to make one, and I'm not up for forking out for a squad of three. I wish the metal North Star models were sold more widely. 

Anyhow, here are some more miniatures that I painted this week. More space weirdos!

These first models are metal mechanics from Warmachine's Khador faction. Old Warmachine models are pretty variable, and many are downright ropey, but I really like these sculpts. They've got lots of character and great details.

These two scrawnier specimens are cyberpunk types. The lady is an unconverted metal miniature, probably quite old. I don't know the manufacturer. The man is based on a plastic zombie body (I'm not sure who makes it) with Stargrave arms and head.

These two are even more random. The bionic swordsman uses an English Civil War body, a 40k head, and Frostgrave demon arms. The robot is a 3D print that I got in a set of models. He's quite silly, but he was surprisingly easy to paint, and he will be a good match for the female robot that I painted a couple of months ago.

New year, new weird creature!

 And so we reach the start of another year. Here is the best miniature that I did in 2024:

In 2024, I did some of my favourite conversions and miniatures. I feel that I got steadily better and was able to put out things that I'd not really expected. I made more classic Eldar (including finishing the harlequins, which I'm pleased about), and had a lot of fun converting various weirdos for Stargrave and Silver Bayonet. I did two Mordheim gangs, which were fun projects. And yet...

I'm getting a bit tired. I am a member of the miniature-making and Oldhammer communities, I suppose, because I miniatures and some of them are old. But I don't feel part of any community, really. At times it feels as if I make another model, enjoy the process of doing so, and then put it away for good. It seems as though I'm just chucking stuff out there onto this blog and onto Instagram and then... that's it, really.

To be clear, I'm not holding myself out as either a great artist or someone who needs/wants/deserves any sort of "clout" in this hobby. I'm an acceptable painter and converter. But I'm starting to get the same feeling from this as I got from self-publishing three fantasy novels: nothing really changes. Blogs and communities don't organically grow anymore (if they ever did). A post that would have got one response two years ago still gets one response. Everything feels rather static.

The obvious answer is "join a gaming club, play some games", but I'm not sure about that. I've met enough powergamers and Space Marine fanboys to be put off playing against people I don't really know. There comes a point where the comedy genius of saying "Heresy!" all the time fades.

So I don't know what I'll do over the next year. I'd like to keep on making things, but I'd like to do something more. Whether that involves playing any games, I don't know. Perhaps I'll try to do some other form of art. We shall see.

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Anyhow, here's my first model of 2025. I found a load of bits that, with some clay and green stuff, fitted together (sort of!). The body and legs come from a Warmachine Cryx model, the head is a GW plastic squig, the knight is a Perry Miniatures medieval knight, and the tail is just green stuff. Together, they made a weird stumpy animal somewhere between a chicken and a deep-sea fish. 

An instagram commenter suggested that it looked quite like one of Brian Froud's creatures for Labyrinth, which made me think that it needed a whimsical paint job. I started with a red body for the steed and steel armour, with some brass bits, but this felt a bit too sinister and chaos-like, so I introduced some green and blue to the scheme. I also made a little carrot out of green stuff to dangle from the end of the lance. I imagine this is how the rider gets his weird steed to move.

Yet another troll, and a weird magic lady

 This week, I had a go at a couple of nice fantasy miniatures. First up is another troll, based on the Warhammer Stone Troggoths kit. Because you don't get enough legs, I used a cheap Reaper Bones troll to provide some legs, and then trimmed them and sculpted over them to fit the look I was going for. This terrible picture shows how much of the troll is GW's.

Because the Reaper legs are very rubbery, I added a resin barrel for extra support, pinned to his bum.

And here he is with paint. I really like these models. They've got lots of good details and great facial expressions. This guy looks both dim and suspicious, as if he thinks that something is up, but can't work out what.

And now for another weird model. Privateer Press have made some bad miniatures (mainly a long time ago), some great ones and quite a lot that I don't really find very interesting. One of their factions is the Grymkin, which seem to be Halloween-based and leave me very cold (as does most of Halloween).

However, I saw a few of their models in a sale, and one of them was this: Lady Karianna Rose, who seems to be a wizardly type who looks after a mob of small imp-like creatures. I thought it was a terrific model, full of detail, and immediately bought it.

I don't think I've painted such a lot of fiddly detail for a long time. She's an excellent sculpt but tricky to paint properly, and guaranteed to chip. I quickly took a picture before the paint fell off. It's quite hard to make out all the details, but basically she's wearing battered clothes and holding one imp while two others tug at her skirts.

It's nice to paint a model that I particularly like, and to try to do a good job of it, even if it doesn't photograph very well. 

Introspective Retrospective 2023

 So, 2023 comes to an end. It's been a fairly drab one here in the UK, and hopefully 2024 will be an improvement. I've had a busy time making models this year, and here are the highlights.

For me, 2023's big project has been retro Eldar. I've painted a lot of models, including some great Jes Goodwin metal miniatures. I went for colours inspired by old, trippy science fiction, especially the pictures of Moebius, Chris Foss and Roger Dean.

Here are some vehicles.

Converted "Vitriol" skimmers

Converted jetbike squad

Wave Serpent

Another Wave Serpent

And some infantry:

Scouts

Fire Dragons

Swooping Hawks

Harlequins

And a couple of oddities, which aren't GW models but still work for the Eldar:

Not a Grynx

Not a Farseer

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So, that's the Eldar. I also did some other models. I painted a rather stoned-looking dragon that I'd had knocking around for ages:

I also made a couple of gangs for Mordheim:

Heavily-converted Sisters of Sigmar

Marienberger mercenaries

But really, I save the silliest for last. I made a model of the Black Beast of Aaargh from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Most of it was sculpted by me, except the head.

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The final thing isn't a model at all. It's a book called Legion of Bones, the third in my fantasy trilogy Dark Renaissance. It's a tale of murder and intrigue, set against a massive uprising by a horde of undead. All three of my fantasy novels are available HERE  - trust me, I'm a much better writer than I am a painter.

So it's been quite a busy year. I'm pleased with the progress I've made in painting. Eldar are rather unforgiving models, and require a "clean" painting style that I find tricky. I've really enjoyed painting them, and making the kind of army that I would have really liked to own thirty years ago!

Here's my favourite model of this year, the leader of the converted Vitriol squad. I hope you have a very happy new year, and lots of enjoyment and success with your models in 2024. 

Cheers!

Toby.

A Spaceship and Two Sandworms

 I've managed to do something other than just paint more Stargrave people this week. Instead, I had a go at sprucing up a Mantic spaceship that I bought ages ago in a sale. It's not an incredibly detailed model, but it does pretty much what it's meant to do. It was originally sprayed white over grey plastic. A lot of the painting was weathering and dirtying the thing.

Perhaps photographing it against a white background wasn't a brilliant idea...

I also painted two sandworm-like creatures that I got in a couple of sales. They're identical miniatures, made by Privateer Press for Warmachine (or possibly Hordes). I thought they'd make good big alien beasts for Stargrave (assuming that I ever stop painting for long enough to play it). I painted them bright red, as they fit in quite well with the visual style of the retro tyranids that I've been making.

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If you like Mordheim or Assassin's Creed, check out my Dark Renaissance novels HERE

Eldar Ambassador

 So, I've not been very well this week. Nothing serious, but I've been feeling rough and taking it very easy. I've been tinkering with some old Chaos models that I made for Mordheim; tidying up the painting and so on. 

I also painted - very slowly - a model that I bought ages ago. It's a Warmachine model called Lady Aiyanna, who seems to be an unarmed elf. I was thinking a while ago about civilian Eldar, and what they might look like. 

I didn't convert this model - I wouldn't have known where to start, to be honest, and she looked fine anyhow. I wanted her to look elegant, and I tried to use what I think of as "Moebius colours": fades from green to blue, pale blues and beige to pink. She seems to be wearing suspenders (classy!) so I gave her a blue undersuit so that it didn't look as if she'd turned up in her underwear.

It was about this point I realised that I was painting her with the same colours that I'd used for the other Eldar. So, what the heck, I painted her cloak with the same red-to-yellow colour fade that I'd used on a few machines, using tiger stripes to hide my ropey blending. 

Back in the old days, before IQs dropped in the galaxy and everyone just mindlessly hated each other, the Imperium had ambassadors to some of the Eldar craftworlds (at least they did in the 3rd ed Codex). Even Necromunda had a special tower where visiting alien dignitaries stopped. So I reckon this lady is an ambassador from Craftworld Zandros to some other species, where she can promote diplomatic relations in very short words and tell the non-Eldar how they're doing everything wrong. 

Back to the Eldar

 Right then, back to the Eldar! It's nice to alternate the ongoing Eldar project with weirder, messier models, especially ones I can convert. Over the last couple of weeks, I've been chipping away at some more Eldar guys.

First up, here are a pair of harlequins. The cheerful chap on the left is a Death Jester, equipped with bone armour and a massive gun. The other bloke is an avatar, a powerful character. His colour scheme was vaguely inspired by Batman's Joker, but I soon felt that that was too restrictive and added a load of other stuff. I like his lapels and sword. I always say it, but these old sculpts are incredible.

The second guy is a conversion from a Privateer Press Retribution of Scyrah model named Lord Arcanist Ossyan. As with a lot of the Scyrah models, his arms look sillier than his body. He's quite chunky for an elf, so I thought he would look good carrying a heavy weapon and bellowing as he blazes away.

I used a shuriken cannon from the recent GW Corsairs kit (thanks ebay) and a Dark Eldar left arm. It took a bit of trimming to get it all to fit. 

I painted him to fit with my other renegade types, most of whom are converted from broken Scyrah models. I reckon he might have been a Dark Reaper in a former life, so I gave him a purple cloak. The hood gives him a slightly sinister feel. He's suitably menacing!

The last model is a test model for an Eldar Scout unit (ignore the base!). I love the ancient metal scout/ranger models. They're really good miniatures, and the long coats look very cool. I was originally intending to paint him in camouflage, but then I decided to use vibrant colours, to reflect the slightly psychedelic, Roger Dean/Moebius inspired colour schemes that I've been trying to use. Maybe he's been in the jungle, or perhaps this is the colour that his coat defaults to when he deactivates the chameleoline.

Beastmen and a Monster Hunter

 I've never painted any beastmen before, but I've always liked the concept of them. They're the rural equivalent of the skaven: while the skaven are plague and urban squalor personified, the beastmen represent the brutal, violent side of nature, always looking for hapless peasants to batter and kill. 

I found some plastic 40k beastmen from the game Blackstone Fortress on ebay. They're quite recent models, and are very nice sculpts. They come in pieces, so you can introduce a little bit of variation by swapping their faces around. They've got slightly less bestial faces than the Warhammer beastmen, but still look as if they've come straight from the island of Doctor Moreau, and aren't happy about it.

I did some conversions to make them suitable for Mordheim. This involved cutting off their pistols and some grenades from their belts. I sculpted a rag over the former grenades on one of the beastmen. The other one (the one with running legs) had more mess to cover. Luckily, I had a metal plate taken from a plastic ogre which fitted really well. I stuck that on and painted them. The standing guy got stripey trousers, which he probably stole from some unfortunate treasure-hunter. Their decrepit shields - also probably stolen - were taken from some old plastic skeletons. the running bloke got a new sword, also from the skeleton frame.

Next up is a metal Privateer Press model. This isn't the cheapest miniature I've ever bought off ebay, but it's close: it cost me the king's ransom of £2, and had some slight damage to the bow protruding over its shoulder. This guy is Victor Pendrake, a sort of travelling scholar/monster hunter. His combination of cloak/coat and armour reminds me of the Mordheim witch hunters. There's lots of nice detail on the model, especially given that it's quite old and from a period when Privateer Press sculpts could be quite ropey: he's got books in his pockets and little spectacles on his face.

I found that it was too easy to paint him in shades of brown and metal, so his coat got a red lining and his armour had a blue wash for variety. I really like the way that he's got his boot up on what looks like a beastman's head. I repaired the top of his bow with - oddly - a spare Eldar shuriken catapult magazine. He reminds me of a cross between Blade and the Witcher, which seems appropriate.